Sweet Spots

WELL-READ MOM

Read More. Read Well. Together
Finding Wisdom, Wonder and Friendship in a World of Efficiency
by Marcie Stokman

–Review by Teri Hyrkas

Do you love to read a story about a successful venture , especially when the success was a complete surprise? If so, read on…

Well-Read Mom: Read More. Read Well Together — Finding Wisdom, Wonder and Friendship in a World of Efficiency, (2019, Riverplace Press) by Marcie Stokman, is a chronicle of the Well-Read Mom book club, a book discussion group that was fashioned with mothers of young children in mind. The journey of the Well-Read Mom book club started with the simple yet profound desire of Stokman to meet with other mothers for friendship and meaningful dialogue around books — particularly the classics of the Western and Christian traditions. As Stokman envisioned it, books would be chosen ahead of time and would center on a theme chosen for the ye

ar. The yearly theme would feature one of many roles that women take on in their lifetime: mother, sister, daughter, spouse, worker, etc. Stokman decided to act on her idea and with great trepidation mailed out twenty-two invitations to her friends and neighbors one fateful day in 2012.
From the time of that first book club meeting, when twenty-two women met in Stokman’s living room to discuss the short story, The Birthmark by Nathaniel Hawthorne, to today, Well-Read Mom has grown to almost two thousand members with clubs in nearly every state in the union. How? By word of mouth. There has been no advertising campaign or social media push for the book club. Stokman found that women with children had a particular desire to get together, as Stokman says, “in order to nurture our hearts and moral imaginations.” The purpose of the book club is explained by Stokman at Well-Read Mom’s website: “Our passion is to help women make space in their daily lives for reading and reflection and so we aim to create a place where they can come together to share what they are learning through their reading.”

The book, Well-Read Mom, is replete with Stokman’s humble, humorous, and often touching, anecdotes about the many struggles and joys that came with learning how to manage a book club that was experiencing tremendous growth. In a section called “Growing Pains,” Marcie tells how the unanticipated ballooning of membership produced challenges that were bewildering. She writes, “What a project! We had paper strewn all over the table and on every space we could find. I sat there perplexed and paralyzed, not knowing how to move ahead…” Soon, the task of establishing a website for the book club became a necessity. One day in her sister-in-law’s kitchen, Marcie realized that the book club had taken on a life of its own. Marcie said to her sister-in-law, Janel, that she thought Well-Read Mom was sinking under paperwork and she didn’t know if it could survive.
Writes Stokman, “Literally 5 minutes later, our friend Nadine stopped by to pick up her son, Max, from Janel’s house. She popped her head in the door to say hi and saw we were working on Well-Read Mom. “ ‘Say,’ [Nadine said] ‘if you ever need someone to help with the computer end of things, I could do that. That’s what I do.’ ” Stokman concludes “Growing Pains” with this note: “That night, I wrote in my journal, “ ‘Lord, you sent Nadine at the exact time we were sinking. Lord, I believe you are in the boat, and with you in this boat, it cannot sink! I don’t need to be afraid. I’m not carrying the load by myself. You are providing.’ ”

Despite the turbulent start, Well-Read Mom book clubs flourished. Why? Stokman offers this possibility: “I think it has something to do with following a unique format, prioritizing fun, and focusing on friendship.”

In addition to a yearly theme, the unique book club format offers guidelines that suggest the length of the meeting be limited to about one hour, with the option for attendees to stay and visit after the discussion is over. The format for the club also indicates that there is to be one leader per group. The leader is the only person who must become a member of the Well-Read Mom organization, although all attendees are encouraged to become members, also. In return for a small fee, members receive resource materials that enrich the book club’s conversations. The format of Well-Read Mom also suggests each club to listen to an audio introduction to the current book, and to use the questions provided to jump start the discussion. Additionally, there is a second audio recording designed to be used during the last ten minutes of the gathering which describes the book for the next month. Stokman writes, “The format allows us to keep pace with other women [in Well-Read Mom book clubs] across the country while at the same time growing deeper in friendship in our local communities…All this is different from any other book club that I am aware of.”

Stokman continues, “The friendship factor is a major component in Well-Read Moms groups…For many moms, surrounded by small children 24/7, the idea of going to someone’s house, … sipping hot tea and … and engaging in meaningful conversations sounds pretty fun. Especially when those conversations are sparked by wonderful stories [from the same] great book!”

Well-Read Mom contains not only the story of the successful emergence of a unique book club but Stokman includes a valuable section on why reading matters for women, and a further section presents practical tips for moms who want to know how to find time to read. Well-Read Mom closes with reflections on books read by women who have been part of the book club over the last eight years.

A satisfying and rewarding book, Well-Read Mom by Marcie Stokman encourages readers not only to grow in their personal reading life, but additionally, it may inspire women to start a Well-Read Mom book club in their local communities.
www.wellreadmom.com

* I read Well-Read Mom in advance of publication. Riverplace Press stated that the print version of the book will be released in mid to late November, with an e-version to follow.

Ex Libris:
Confessions of a Common Reader
by Anne Fadiman
–Review by Teri Hyrkas
Are you smitten with books? Do any of your favorite books make you hungry every time you read them? Would you rather go to a antiquarian bookstore than anywhere else on your birthday? If you answered yes to even one of these questions, it is a safe bet you will enjoy Ex Libris: Confessions of a Common Reader by Anne Fadiman. Published in 1998 by Farrar, Straus, and Giroux, I rexently heard about this thoroughly enjoyable book by listening to the bookish podcast narrated by Anne Bogel called, “One Great Book.” https://modernmrsdarcy.com/onegreatbook/
You might be familiar with author Anne Fadiman from her 1997 award winning book, The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down. The Spirit Catches You is a biography of Lia Lee, a Hmong child with a debilitating seizure disorder who was at the center of a cultural clash between the Hmong community in Merced, California and the way medicine was practiced in American hospitals in the 1990’s. The Spirit Catches You is a serious, sometimes disturbing book, and “is often assigned to medical, pharmaceutic and anthropological students in the U.S.,” according to Wikipedia, to assist the students going into these fields in gaining cultural competency.
Ex Libris, on the other hand, is a winsome book of eighteen essays which revolve around Fadiman’s lifelong love affair with books and all things related to books, including but not limited to: definitions of obscure words, uncut page edges in new publications and a family game called “Fadiman U.” Fadiman’s writing is erudite but it is also full of surprises and her take on books and book culture is often laugh-out-loud funny.
The author’s command of the English language and her expertise in the history of literature is impressive. Indeed, there were several occasions when I was very glad to be reading Ex Libris on my Kindle which has a built in dictionary feature. Thankfully, Fadiman, who is obviously not a common reader at all, has written Ex Libris in a congenial, self-deprecating style and never takes herself too seriously. Her deft pen made the stories of her foibles, family stunts, career escapades, and book amour a captivating and highly amusing read.
That does not mean Fadiman sugarcoats weighty issues. In one essay, Anne writes of the devastating vision loss endured by her father, Clifton Fadiman. Clifton Fadiman was a celebrity and a accomplished scholar in his own right, being active in radio and television from the 1930’s through the 1950’s. In addition to Fadiman’s radio and TV career, The New York Times Magazine notes:
“[Clifton Fadiman] was The New Yorker’s book reviewer for 10 years. He wrote many introductions to the Modern Library editions of classic works of literature. And he was a longtime member of the editorial board of the Encyclopaedia Britannica, and once read (or skimmed) every edition of the encyclopedia, going back about 200 years, in order to compile the 700-page ”Treasury of the Encyclopedia Britannica.” He is said to have read 80 pages an hour and to have remembered most of what he read; and he appears to have read (starting at age 4) nearly all the time.”
In her essay about her father’s blindness, titled “Scorn Not The Sonnet,” Anne Fadiman describes how quickly her 88-year old father lost his sight. “Over the period of a week, he had, for mysterious reasons, gone from being able to read The Encyclopaedia Brittanica to being unable to read the E at the top of an eye chart.” In the following excerpt from the essay, Anne and her father are at the hospital. As Anne tried to console her father on the loss of his sight, she mentioned that the great poet, Milton, had written Paradise Lost after he had gone blind.
‘”So he did,”‘ said my father. ‘”He also wrote that famous sonnet.”‘
‘”On His Blindness,”‘ I replied.”
The older Fadiman asked his daughter to, as soon as she arrived home, look up the poem and read it to him over the phone.
Anne Fadiman relates, “There was no way to know at the time that over the next year my father would learn to use recorded books, lecture without notes, and gain access to un-guessed inner resources… All these things lay in the future, but that night in Miami, Milton’s sonnet provided the first glimmer of the persistent intellectual curiosity that was to prove [my father’s] saving grace. When I returned home, I called him at the hospital and read him the sonnet:
‘When I consider how my light is spent
Ere half my days in this dark world and wide,
And that one talent which is death to hide
Lodg’d with me useless, though my soul more bent
To serve therewith my Maker, and present
My true account, lest he returning chide;
“Doth God exact day-labour, light denied?”
I fondly ask. But Patience to prevent
That murmur, soon replies: “God doth not need
Either man’s work or his own gifts; who best
Bear his mild yoke, they serve him best. His state
Is kingly. Thousands at his bidding speed
And post o’er land and ocean without rest:
They also serve who only stand and wait.'”

‘”Of course,”‘ said my pessimistic, areligious father. ‘”How could I have forgotten?”‘
If you are a book enthusiast looking to read a book about books, Ex Libris: Confessions of a Common Reader is an excellent choice. Anne Fadiman’s slim volume is a gift for the book lover’s heart and a worthy addition to any book shelf.
Note: Clifton Fadiman lived to be 95 years old. He retired from his work as a general editor and book reviewer just a few months before his death.