The Commons

An angel appears at a faculty meeting and tells the President/Dean that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward him with his choice of money, wisdom or beauty. Without hesitating, the President/Dean selects wisdom. “Done!” says the angel, and disappears in a cloud of smoke…

A preacher knew the sermon would be a long one. Nothing tried made it shorter. So this is how the sermon was introduced: “Today, the first half of my sermon will be directed toward the sinners in this congregation. The second half will be devoted to the non-sinners among us.”…

A parent was helping her third-grader with homework. “What’s a noun?” “A person, place or thing.” “OK. What’s a pronoun?” After a brief pause, the boy said, “A really good noun.” The world needs some more pronouns.  

One of the stories from the “Omaha Beach” invasion of World War II is of a Navy radio crew that was desperately trying to function under extremely hazardous conditions. The officer in charge tells it like this; “We were under attack by enemy planes. At one point, I heard one…

Many of us spend a great deal of time in inane conversation because we are so frightened and feel socially awkward of silent spaces . .. . We fear silence when we are alone as well and so we often live with a constant background of radio chat or muzak.…

It was the first day of Sunday school. After the teacher sent out the registration pad and asked the students to write down their birth dates, he noticed that there were two new kinds with the same last name but with birthdays a month apart. He welcomed the kids, and…

Toward the end of Henry Ford’s life, Will Rogers said to him, “It’ll take a hundred years to know whether you’ve helped us or hurt us. But you certainly didn’t leave us where you found us.” That should preach. The one thing Jesus never does is leave us where he…

The Canticle of the Sun Most High, all-powerful, all-good Lord, all praise is yours, all glory, honour and blessings. To you alone, Most High, do they belong; no mortal lips are worthy to pronounce your name. We praise you, Lord, for all your creatures, especially for Brother Sun, who is…

A tour guide in an Australian art museum always ends her tour with a certain piece of art. She says to the group, “And here, ladies and gentlemen, we conclude our tour with one of the finest pieces of sculpture in the entire museum. Notice the nobility of the face,…

During the Gulf War, a group of British soldiers became lost in the desert. Looking weary and bedraggled, they eventually stumbled into an 5-Star general. “Do you know where we are?” one of the bleary eyed soldiers blurted out. The general, annoyed because of the unkempt appearance and because they…