A woman looked out her living room one morning and was amazed to discover a dead mule on her lawn. She called the sanitation department and asked them to remove the carcass. But by the time the work-crew arrived, she had changed her mind. She gave the men $100...
My favorite way of taking the offering as a pastor was the following: “The Bible says ‘God loveth a cheerful giver.’ But God accepteth from a grouch. So in whatever spirit you give, the offering will now be received.” But the introduction to an offering I remember...
Back in the days when circuses traveled to cities, a circus strong man offered a reward to anyone in the town who could extract more from a lemon that he had squeezed dry. A small, frail-looking man accepted the challenge and, after great exertion, got one more drop...
Preacher to keyboardist/organist: “When I am finished with my sermon this morning, I’ll ask those who want to contribute to our capital campaign to stand. In the meantime you play appropriate music.” Organist/keyboardist: “What appropriate music?” Preacher: “How about...
Two small-town brothers were walking home from Sunday-school and discussing the lesson where the teacher had talked about Jesus’ healing of “divers diseases” in Luke (4:40): “ all that had any sick with divers diseases brought them unto him; and he laid his hands on...
A child had been cautioned never to touch a vase on the mantel, a rare and priceless heirloom. One day he found himself tall enough to reach it, so he pulled it down and got his hand caught inside. The aghast parents applied soap suds and cooking oil with no…...
